Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
The uberlube is also flammable
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
