I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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