i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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