better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
