Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
