So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
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