Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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