why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
