OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
In America we eat man semen.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
