Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
