He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
