I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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