Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I would fuck him just for his dog
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
