I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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