I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
