my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
