I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
