Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
