his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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