Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
