Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Randomize
