I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
