Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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