Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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