woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
