You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
