this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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