You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
