I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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