Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
