I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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