Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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