I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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