I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
