He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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