i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Someone came in the potted fern
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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