He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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