that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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