You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
