i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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