break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
