And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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