literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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