I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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