So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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