So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
