Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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