well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Every concussion has its silver lining
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
