Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
