I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
