if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
