my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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