You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
How naked do you want me to be?
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